Waiting

Wait!

Waiting is torturous. It’s those times that cause me angst when nothing is happening and a day seems like a thousand years. Abraham experienced it with Ishmael, the Israelites trying to enter the promise land without God, David bringing back the Ark unprepared, and the disciples wanting to buy things on credit cards (it’s in there somewhere).
I wonder about the whole idea of God steering a parked car. Does he even like cars?

Maybe God likes moving twisters; energy is already present even when stationary.
The whole idea of waiting means something is about to happen though, like a good storm brewing. Life is easier when there is nothing to wait for. When my existence is to live, die and escape into Heaven, then I am content with comfort and smooth boat rides. It is a different situation when I allow His radical Spirit loose in me that life becomes a tornado: “a mobile, destructive vortex of violently rotating winds having the appearance of a funnel-shaped cloud advancing beneath a large storm system”.

God loves to spin through small groups, rip apart brick and mortar and leave an unmistakable short and narrow path for few to follow. The key is enough self-control and a keen ability to hear his voice to move only by his guidance. (I kid you not, Asher just NOW brought in a neighbors racecar whose logo is The Moving Tornado after I wrote all that. Maybe God does like cars).

Emie tells me it is Elianna who decides when she wants to come out. She releases a chemical that begins the birthing process and presto here she is (almost). I was pondering the other day the reality that she will come out; we wont have a 16 year old in the womb. And though the days are getting more uncomfortable, the waiting . . . torturous, and pain inevitable, she will come. We will have our promise that “God has answered us with Grace” (the meaning of her name, Elianna Charis Locke).

I once heard someone share, “in the waiting, don’t abort the promises of God.”
For nine years now the “Wind” of the Spirit has been rotating me faster and faster. And though I have lived an extremely full life (and loved it) in most ways I believe His promises for my family and I have yet to be birthed. Things are about to change!

It’s always a longer story than most want to read, but share I must. This will give you much more context in the future when we reveal our next “assignment”. That will come when it is revealed to us. Storms are brewing.

As a High School student I knew things would not really happen until I was 30. At the time I thought I would have dentures and a cane by then! Little did I know just how fast I would meet 30. For years it has been hard for me to see ministry and the workplace as the same. My religious mindset has caused me to see ministry as a profession and church as a building. Most of this, I am sure, is due to some meeting in Constantinople years ago.

It all makes more sense now: the Body, the gifts, the Spirit, and my purpose. It’s congruent. I no longer need to stand in front of a group every Sunday to be a pastor. I will not lose my calling, gifting or significance if I pump gas or sell cars (neither of which I want to do).

While I worked at a church, it defined who I was. “Oh, you’re a Pastor.” It left little room or time to fulfill what was burning in my heart. I lived for a long time with the mindset that I needed to be committed to the church, my “job.” If I resigned then I was leaving “ministry.” Or if I left the brick and mortal building of church, I was leaving God. I no longer believe that lie. I have longed for years to change my world, disciple nations, and fulfill my destiny. I desire to see God’s will on earth as it is in Heaven. I long to move with the Spirit of the Lord and not be hindered by a job, even a ministry job.

I was trying to explain to Emie the other day how I am wired. Impossible I know. I see my life as many different parts but all connected. Emie thinks I live segmented, but I see it more as layers. There is the foundation, structure, roof, and the beautiful little pieces of decoration that make up my sweet personality. ☺ I go after all these aspects whole-heartedly. If I am going to succeed or fail, it will be because I gave it everything I had.

I want to have all that is mine in God that He says I can have. I want to have the healthiest family, do greater works than these, take back ground the enemy has stolen, live to the fullest extent that my body will allow, see as much of the world as possible, create businesses and opportunities that release people into their destiny, and step into eternity knowing there was nothing more I could do. I wonder if that’s why we have a cloud of witnesses to this life of faith. They would love to do it all over again. They see the bigger picture. I wonder if some Christians ever ask God to send them back for a bit more fun.

For years the Lord has been awaking my heart to the good works he has prepared for me in advance. I am seeing more clearly that who I am doesn’t contradict these good works, but instead, fulfills them. He desires to co-labor with me and has created my quirky self to be in harmony with those works. Ephesians says, “WE fill everything everywhere with his presence.”

I see my art no longer contradictory to my calling, but rather a part of my calling. I see my desire to create business opportunities as the means to which I will see nations discipled. I see this time with my family as strategic in releasing a legacy and birthing sons and daughters of religious freedom. I understand my desire for third world countries, eradicating poverty, raising educational standards as the heart of God. I know now that my visionary heart and mind that keeps my head spinning is actually God in me. It is his Spirit birthing a tornado.

I read scriptures about Joseph, Moses, Daniel, Paul, and Peter with excitement because I long to be a world changer. What these saints have done doesn’t make me feel inferior but confident that I can do it and so much more (because we have the Holy Spirit). I want to preach the simple gospel and see people immediately healed, delivered and saved. Biblically the word is Sozo, meaning “saved” but connotes healing, deliverance and salvation in the same instant; it is a great study, and even better, has no formula.

I long to stand before governments, school administrations, businesses, and nations offering answers like Joseph before Pharaoh. As Lance Wallnau says, “Joseph didn’t impact Egypt by trying to convert people to being Hebrew. We disciple nations by taking God’s people and his solutions into problems nations cannot resolve. Places like Uganda aren’t looking for a Christian solution; they’re looking for a solution. And if a Christian becomes the solution, then their belief system suddenly has a platform of credibility that can touch an entire nation. We have supernatural answers to natural problems of economics, social unrest, suffering, failing infrastructures, and family chaos. For so long Christians have sought to evangelize all and believed that would change everything, but when we have an irrelevant majority (30% of America is “Christian”) led by a minority (5%) who is strategically placed creating our culture, tactics must change. We must take ‘converts’ into key arenas to impact the world.”

I cannot give you anything concrete at this time because nothing in my life is ever concrete. Yet I can see things beginning to form. If my (our) life seems so “here one minute, there the next” it’s because it is. If this concerns you, please take it up with God. He knit me together and to be honest, I really like myself (finally). I actually think God did a pretty good job on me, but that is another update.
For some, this update will help because you can read between the lines. For the rest, I am sure it brought up more confusion. Be at peace. Emie has to explain most “God Signs” to me because I just don’t get the abstract language either.

One thing is certain. I can feel contractions coming on. They are getting more intense and more frequent. For years I have been worried about trying not to abort his promises and keep them ever present in my heart. Now I have heard the Lord say, “The promises will be birthed.” There has been a shift in the heavens and two births are about to take place. Life as we know it is about to change. One tornado is being released and if Elianna is anything like her gene pool she will be a vortex of violent rotating . . . Grace.


Heath Locke
11.4.07

P.S. As I was finishing this update that has taken three days to write a violent wind began to blow, lightning exposed the night air and thunder is pounding down. It’s on top of us without any warning. I’m watching out our window amazed after a day of clear skies.

HMMM, I wonder if the Lord is saying something? Maybe, the storm has come and tornados are being birthed?