Giving ourselves into Embarrassment

Giving ourselves into Embarrassment

There was a time when we didn’t have our “own” car for about 10 months. It was an amazing time watching the Lord put the details together. We would use someone’s car and the day before we would have to return it someone would call us and say they were going on vacation or something and we could use their car. There was only one time I ever had to call someone to use his car. Poor Emie took the weight of this because she was working at Starbucks at the time and needed to drive. Then a family allowed us to use their car until we received a permanent one. For the first three months I was so embarrassed to drive this car or should I say boat. It was a great driving car and very comfortable, but it wasn’t up to the image I had with my former SUV. I finally came to peace with the rationalization that I didn’t need to be embarrassed because it wasn’t really my car anyways. So I would get out, tell those looking that it wasn’t mine and that I was just barrowing it. Then I became rather grateful for it. Believe it or not I actually feel in love with it after a family trip down to California.

Praise the Lord we never had to walk, though many times we thought we would have to. Thanks to all those who graciously gave, you know who you are. If we receive a reward for giving a cup of cold water, what will your reward be for a CAR? Hallelujah!

Emie and Abiel are walking now. Unless they get a taxi, it’s all ankle express. In America, at times, it would be very inconvenient and embarrassing to not have a car. I am surprised just how much we have been deceived in believing we “need our own” car, house, toys, etc. The enemy has pushed us into independence and we no longer gain the value of “meeting together constantly and sharing everything we have” (Acts 2:45). It seems to me that God poured himself out on the New Testament Bride in great ways (see Acts 2:47) because they loved being with each other and weren’t embarrassed about what they did or didn’t have! So much so that their attitude was “they felt that what they owned was not their own; they shared everything they had.” It all resulted in “no poverty among them, because people who owned land or houses sold them and brought the money to the apostles to give to others in need” (Acts 4:32, 34). For more on this subject pick up Ronald Sider’s book “Rich Christians in an age of Hunger: Moving from Affluence to Generosity”.
Emie’s time being part of the “deliverance team” was wonderful. She clarified with me that there was more than one group and she was only leading one. She prayed for a few and was able to see individuals set free. She was speaking with one lady and mentioned that if she prayed for her deliverance she would have to give up her connections with the witch doctors. The lady said she was not willing to do it so Emie told her she wasn’t going to pray. Unfortunately the lady left and was never set free (see Matt. 12:43-45).

Emie had an opportunity to go on an outreach into the bush this past weekend. Abiel stayed with our friend Lisa Truax at the base. Emie wasn’t sure if she was to go because she was feeling sick. But the Lord told her to go and gave her insight into what they were going into. She made an immediate connection with a local pastors wife and they were friends. The lady took Emie all around the village to meet all her friends and pray with people. One lady wrapped her baby onto Emie’s back. This was a true sign of acceptance because they are very suspicious of people and their spirits.
Emie was able to teach twice on the love of God at a local Church. She shared how the love of God never leaves us even when we are troubled, in calamity, persecuted, cold, or in danger or threatened with death (Romans 8:35-37).
She was pulled out in front of the crowd during the viewing of the Jesus Film by a drunken grandma who wanted Emie to dance with her. Needless to say Emie was embarrassed and she didn’t dance.
She was able to hold little girls and watch how they slowly melted in her arms as the love of Jesus was pouring into them. She saw miracles happen and Muslims give their lives to Jesus all in one night.
Many of the Africans suffer from migraines due to dehydration. She had taken four bottles of water for the weekend and the Lord told her to give it away. She reminded that Lord that she also needed water and would DIE IF SHE GAVE IT AWAY! He was not as concerned about it as she was (see Mark 8:14-21). He asked her, “Do you give only when you have excess? I want you to give when it costs you and love out of a place of poverty (Mark12:41-44). So she began to give as she saw people in need and the Lord provided water for her through other teammates who had no idea what she was doing! In 2 Corinthians 9:7 Paul tells us that God LOVES the person who gives hilariously. There comes a point, I believe in our giving when we’re having so much fun it makes us laugh and we long to give more. I think we laugh because in giving we see the foolishness of holding!
She had another life changing experience this past weekend, which makes me wonder if I don’t have experiences like these because my life never changes, same ol’, same ol’?
By the time you read this she is ending a three-day fast for more of the Holy Spirit. When she arrived back a Pastor walked up to her and gave her this prophetic word, “If you come back and lock yourself in your room for three days you’ll get more of the Holy Spirit.” Well, who wouldn’t want more of that? She prayed about it (which we should do with prophetic words) and the Lord confirmed it. I get to talk with her tonight so I will hear just how much more she got. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

We believe the Lord is pushing Emie to know what she believes and how to minister it in the midst of people’s doubts and skepticisms. He knows she will carry His cross! So he is lighting her on FIRE! The Lord keeps telling her to receive more fuel, to get as much as she can in faith!
The Lord is also asking Emie how much more control will she give up to him. Just how far will she go to look foolish for him? Where does she draw the line when it comes to being so filled and overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit that she looks drunk to observers (Acts 2:13)? When will she pull the plug because her reputation is too important to lose? When does she stop because the embarrassment is just too much to handle?

Driving that car/boat was the best thing that ever happened to me. I believe embarrassment is an effective tool the enemy uses to keep us meeting our wants/desires/image and hindering us to live “poor/simple” lives (in the worlds eyes). As a result millions of people are starving for Christians to give so they can simply have a meal.
The Lord began speaking to me concerning embarrassment. He said, “Heath you were embarrassed because you thought the car was yours. You only get embarrassed when you think the car is yours, you only get embarrassed when you think the clothes you wear are yours. You only get embarrassed when you think the house you live in is yours. If you think the money you have is yours then you will be embarrassed if you don’t have much of it. You only feel foolish when you believe your life is yours. Heath, if you ever feel embarrassed about what you wear, drive, live in or by looking foolish for me, it only shows that you still control your life. You died to all that when I gave you my Life. This is why I want you (in part) to give until it hurts, give until you come to a place where you would live in poverty in order to advance my kingdom. Give and the embarrassment will leave, because you will receive a far greater possession, eternal wealth” (see Luke 16, but specifically verse, 11).

Well, Emie loves the poor in Africa and desires to live there as soon as the Lord would release us to go. I also cannot wait to go, for those wondering. As she was riding back from her outreach she watched all the villages passing by, it was then she realized she belongs there. She said she doesn’t even feel like a foreigner.

I love Jim Elliot’s most quoted statement; “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose.

Give until it hurts
Heath, for the Lockes