What's up could be down!

Hey Friends,
Last week I was mulling over the sweet, uneventful update that I was planning to write as soon as I found a few spare moments. I was going to add some cute stories of all the critters we live with in the barn (owls, CUTE, LITTLE mice but MANY of them, bats, birds and their babies under the eaves). But alas, I was too slow! Now I have some adventure to share with ya'll (no, we're not moving to TX, as far as I know!). Grab a coffee cup, this may take awhile. Or just delete if you're sick of our adventures! (Sometimes I wish I could just delete and end up back at normal and predictable! And for those of you just wishing we'd get a job already and BE NORMAL, believe me, we've wanted it, looked for it and begged God for it many times in the last month!)

So here we go. The last 2 months have been full of emotion. . . most of it difficult and complex. Reverse culture shock is real. My kids have adjusted well, all except little Asher. He has shown his insecurity in all the transitions the most. That's another story. But pray for him if you think of it. I was a basket case for 8 weeks (we've only been home 11). Took a good week to recover from jet lag. We were sick for 10 days at the beginning. We've had 2 weeks of family and friends visiting. And now Asher and Elianna are sick again (asher ended up in the ER on Sat. with croup). Add to that, all the catching up with friends and family, homeschool and LONGING for stability topped by Heath's crazy ideas! I'm not good at giving myself grace in all this but my closest friends keep admonishing me to!

It's one thing to have the grand goal of "missionary" before us as we did when we sold our house, moved in with the Truax's TEMPORARILY doing ministry in the day to day, and then finally on our way to Africa. It's noble. It's risky with a family of 5 and pregnant. It's truly adventurous with a few thinking we're ridiculous. But now we're back. The hype is gone. It's like this: when I was leaving Africa, I asked God to give me a picture of what the whole ordeal was for us! He showed me a beautiful picture of a very tall mountain and said, "Plant your flag."

WHAT?!! I didn't do ANYTHING to deserve planting a flag. But he continued to ask me to plant the flag. Then he shared with me how our last couple years was like a big mountain climbing expedition. The year at the Truax's was the training, the preparation. It was exhilarating. Then we started the climb. We were ready, but the higher you climb, the harder it gets. By the time you're near the top, breathing is difficult. Every step is great effort with resting in between. Oxygen is low and your brain is unable to think clearly. It's easy to wonder what the heck you're doing up there. Then if you make it to the top, you plant the flag and have only minutes to "enjoy" the victory before you have to turn around and get off the mountain!

But that's not all. Then you get home and wonder what the heck you're supposed to do with your life now. You just spent years, energy and money preparing for the expedition and now it's done. So that's where we're at. Wondering.

Some days a job sounds great and a pay check even better! Other days, we feel like we aren't released into anything yet so we can't just run to normal for security. Though it may not appear contrary to this, we are NOT being radical for radical's sake! We have felt so very loved by those of you who have continued to be our friends when all the hype is done. Thank you for all who continue to financially give because you believe in Jesus alive in us even if you wonder about us or our flailing position in life! Believe me, this is one of the most humbling, mind boggling places we've been in a long time (at least since we were trying to sell our house 2 1/2 years ago!!). But somewhere deep inside, we know we're not finished!! We know God has something for us to do. We are longing for more of Him, more of His love and direction. We long to fulfill the destiny he has for us, every place we are.

So that's the nutshell. The adventure? Initially we thought we were going to be here in the barn at Canby until the first of July. On Thursday night, we heard that we need to move by the first of June . . . 24 days from now. Thus, the next adventure. We are waiting to find out where we will be next. As of now, we literally have no idea. It's amazing but Heath and I have so much peace in this transition. I know it's because people are praying for us. Please pray that the peace will continue, that Jesus will show us the next step at the right time, that we will be able to help prepare our kids for the next move that most probably won't be our last. They have LOVED being back with their friends and in the familiar of the Portland area. It will be a difficult move for them if we end up traveling or moving away from here.

Before we got back to the States, we thought we may spend 4 months in Oregon, a couple in CA and a couple in MT. Now, we just aren't sure of anything. We are also praying for a vehicle that we can all fit in at the same time! Thanks Grandma and Dad for lending us the car for the past couple months. It's been a life saver!

Traveling? Probably, but not positively. We'll keep you posted as the story unfolds for us. There's a large part of me that would love to find a place to stay for a couple years and part of me that is ready to follow Jesus anywhere. Without the "big vision" of missionary before us anymore, we are finding once again God purifying our hearts and desires even when we aren't sure what side is up and people misunderstand us. So we ask for your grace as we press in to Jesus and hear our next assignment.

Thanks for your support and prayers. We are thankful for you. We'll keep you posted as things unfold!

Love and peace to you in your adventures,
emie for the locke family